oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize