he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize