bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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