Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf