shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?