she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
