I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
