she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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