is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
