You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
