U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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