I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.