READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
