if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
