He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude