It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.