I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
