This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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