i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
