we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
