My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
