Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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