Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
