Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??

(713): View more from Texas

Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.

(303): View more from Colorado

well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you

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(402): View more from Nebraska

When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The Easter dress struggle is real

(206): View more from Washington

Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.

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(970): View more from Colorado

If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...

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