Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...