yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
