Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes

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  (504): Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes http://tfl.nu/awap
  Replies (11) Good night (660) Bad night (839)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ur plase or mine? lol

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.

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  (908): ur plase or mine? lol (1-908): well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine. http://tfl.nu/rmr0
  Replies (12) Good night (1206) Bad night (1905)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

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  (503): New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/mtsq
  Replies (9) Good night (2854) Bad night (877)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.

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  (414): the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details. http://tfl.nu/93dt
  Replies (26) Good night (6402) Bad night (617)
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  (760): View more from California

  I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"

  (760): View more from California

  When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."

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  (760): I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex" (760): When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely." http://tfl.nu/jlap
  Replies (19) Good night (6901) Bad night (706)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.

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  (910): I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through. http://tfl.nu/z33k
  Replies (14) Good night (1960) Bad night (4521)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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  (561): he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him http://tfl.nu/gz84
  Replies (15) Good night (4829) Bad night (861)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait

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  (614): I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait http://tfl.nu/idzg
  Replies (16) Good night (2861) Bad night (1035)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

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  (570): So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash http://tfl.nu/zmae
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (2977)
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  (818): View more from California

  I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.

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  (818): I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me. http://tfl.nu/gx3h
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (2112)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

  (254): View more from Texas

  He's majoring in Religion

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  (254): I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka. (254): He's majoring in Religion http://tfl.nu/gx54
  Replies (9) Good night (2470) Bad night (614)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are you speaking in third person?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.

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  (902): Why are you speaking in third person? (1-902): Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore. http://tfl.nu/1fh5
  Replies (5) Good night (3277) Bad night (732)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them

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  (978): we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them http://tfl.nu/sa9n
  Replies (8) Good night (1424) Bad night (513)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is

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  (262): My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is http://tfl.nu/wa13
  Replies (5) Good night (719) Bad night (388)
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  (408): View more from California

  No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard

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  (408): No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard http://tfl.nu/3xoe
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (277)

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