Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

We should go out drinking together soon

(734): View more from Michigan

I'm still not going to have sex with you

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(248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87

Replies (22) Good night (669) Bad night (1390)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.

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(202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/bgl4

Replies (11) Good night (1340) Bad night (538)
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(916): View more from California

He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics

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(916): He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics http://tfl.nu/21qy

Replies (29) Good night (3051) Bad night (3598)
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(+26): View more from

Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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(+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj

Replies (30) Good night (7270) Bad night (2506)
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(718): View more from New York

One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"

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(718): One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk" http://tfl.nu/wyyx

Replies (27) Good night (1905) Bad night (4009)
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(619): View more from California

Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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(619): Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!" http://tfl.nu/5vjf

Replies (35) Good night (5750) Bad night (8309)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

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(202): Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30. http://tfl.nu/8g1h

Replies (6) Good night (1061) Bad night (2746)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

he tried to breastfeed my turtle

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(864): he tried to breastfeed my turtle http://tfl.nu/mp5f

Replies (16) Good night (1594) Bad night (2709)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.

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(623): Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that. http://tfl.nu/xmai

Replies (10) Good night (877) Bad night (566)
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(716): View more from New York

the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.

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(716): the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue. http://tfl.nu/b0ty

Replies (8) Good night (974) Bad night (373)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.

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(413): I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket. http://tfl.nu/1du9

Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (266)
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(818): View more from California

You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.

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(818): You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it. http://tfl.nu/2dbt

Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (225)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.

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(704): I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/63zf

Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (230)
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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (238)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

YOU DID WHAT???

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(617): Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college. (1-617): YOU DID WHAT??? http://tfl.nu/p7q7

Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (380)