He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you had me at cake vodka
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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