i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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