God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize