I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
