who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was CRYING into my vagina
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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