You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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