ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Girls should come with a carfax report
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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