she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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