You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
