I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize