apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
