It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
