Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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