he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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