But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
