i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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