Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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