I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You just made me feel so damn special
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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