apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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