ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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