trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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