I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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