The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dignity is for republicans.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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