Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
