he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
