hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ugly people sure do ruin things
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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