Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
