She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
