The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
where am i from again
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
