I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
honey bunches of taint.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
