why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
