i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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