i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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