fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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