Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
