Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
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ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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