I am puke
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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