the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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