I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
