I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
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