"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
