So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
