Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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