Ambien. No doubt about it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
