My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
