is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
