You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
