that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
