Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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