ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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