Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
