Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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