There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A bitchslap is in order.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
