North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
