I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
