Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
